As it gets nicer outside, the weather causes guys to wear wife-beaters and women show skin. This leads to an arousal in hormones and that Que you’ve been eyeing all semester has put on ten pounds of muscle throughout the spring semester. That Zeta you thought had a fatty under her Northface is showing it now and you can’t control yourself. So you finally make a move and exchange @ names, Facebook requests and even BBM’s if your game is that tight.

“Fire and Ice” ruled New York Greek Love for years, though there are more Sigma’s with Deltas now more than ever. I see a lot of Nupes and Zetas together now. Ques and SGRhos seem to be showing a lot more puppy love too. (#seewhatididthere?) There are always a few stragglers here and there who just rather spend time with their favorite Frat or Sorority, so whichever side you’re on, enjoy these 10 Rules To (Safe) Sex Day and be sure to WRAP IT UP!

10. BOOK SEX-DAY IN ADVANCE. The purpose of Sex-Day is to take one whole day out of your lives and devote it to each other. Schedule your Day ahead of time so you can make arrangements to not be at work, school or your LS’s crib baking weed brownies.

9. FIND A PLACE OF SECLUSION. Don’t just use a dorm room or your mom’s crib because she’s at work all day from 8-6. Rent a hotel room or use your own apartment for the day. You must clock in to Sex Day by 11am that way if you choose to rent a hotel; check out is exactly 24 hours later.

8. FIND YOUR CHI. Some people like weed, some like alcohol. While we are NOT promoting drug use, if it’s y our thing, it’s your thing. Whatever your zone is, it must be finished by the time you check out of your room. Two bottles of Goose? Cool, just know they must both be upside-down when you’re done.

7. NO OUTSIDE COMMUNICATION. Yep, that includes Twitter. No texts, facebook, emergency phone calls, My Space (-_-) or anything else. The only vocals that matter are shouting from climaxing!

6. YA GOTTA EAT. (No, not that kind of eating…) Bring your food into your place of pleasure. There is no “Let’s run and grab KFC.” Bring 4-square meals for the whole day because if you don’t, you’ll be in the drive through naked. (See Rule 5)

5. LESS IS MORE. No clothes once you step into the room. So you must pre-game, make your last phone calls, lay in the wet spots, etc., NAKED! If you’re not comfortable naked in the sunlight, maybe you aren’t ready for Sex Day.

4. YOU DON’T WANT THAT LATE-TEXT. Wrap it up! Not only do we promote safe sex, but also the person you’re having Sex Day with may not be your man! So if you’re
going to do it, do it right. Wrap it up and bring an unlimited amount of condoms, lube and toys.

3. NO SLEEP. It’s kind of unrealistic to have sex—good sex—for twenty-four straight hours so breaks in between are allowed. However, breaks are in a 1:2 ratio. So if you have a 20-minute session, you can rest for 40 minutes. Anything outside of that is just uncivilized.

2. “POSITION: HOLD UP YUH HEAD AND COCK OUT YUH BOTTOM…” You must clear a minimum of TEN different positions for an acquired amount of time to your liking. Don’t bore her with smothering her with your chest hair and don’t give him a reason to tweet because you want to be held and stroked all the damn time. Switch it up!

1. TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN. Yes y’all, Sex-Day is a competition. The goal is to outdo your partner. You can decide the winner by making you partner climax more than you OR whomever taps out first. The other is the winner!

Signing off,

Paul Johnson Jr.
Writer/Director

Rainy Days Films, LLC

PaulSJohnson10@yahoo.com / @Paul_Johnson_Jr
Mu Omicron Chapter, SP. 2004 / #3

Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.